I need to be pissed off but facebook/twitter is too crowded

FUCKING I WANT TO DO THINGS, BUT I’M TO AFRAID OF PUTTING MYSELF OUT THERE IT’S ALOT EASIER JUST TO SIT BACK AND MAKE SNARKY COMMENTS. IM TOO SCARED TO BE MYSELF. 

That is all,
Cordially,
Matthew Olszewski 

Kid lights off fire crackers in the hallway: no trouble 

I say fuck one damn time: detention 

the year was 2006.

The hot thing for the 4-6th graders to do was go online, and create, a xanga.

Man xanga was hot, it was like myspace, only super duper shitty. I had 3 friends.

FUCK YOU XANGA SHOWING ME HOW LONELY I WAS. 

(Ranked by effectiveness)

1.The nerdy white kid

To execute this move one must stand meekly to the side whilst hordes upon hordes of large older students power past not giving the said nerdy white kid any room to transport themselves to their needed classroom. This move’s ineffectiveness is so palpable that to use this move guarantees many detentions over the year. 

2. The pathfinder

 This maneuver is best for the average student with no aggression in walking in the hallways, But it also requires solid vision. To do the pathfinder one must locate the ever so changing open paths in the hallways during passing period and walk through them. This move will get you on time to most classes, except when the bullshit high school scheduling has you go from one corner of the school to the other in 4 minutes.

3.  The Alpha

This is for the strongest or the one with a large group in the hallways. This is for the group/person who is confident and strong and can march right down the middle of the hallways not giving a rats ass about anyone else’s needs. great for douchebags, you won’t be late to class, but you will also seem like a tool, weigh your options carefully.

Obstacles to avoid

There are large groups of people standing around lockers in passing period, these people do not care about being late, they just look to socialize about the most recent fight/kevin hart comedy special. If you get stuck in this you’re trapped and it will throw you off your game. AVOID AT ALL COSTS

Teachers think they one the hallways, if they were a highway they would be the douchebag cops. leave a 2 person wide space between you and all teachers, especially ones with carts.

If you follow these tips you still will probably grow to hate kankakee high school. 

Pissing at school is a punishment that Hitler wouldn’t even consider.

I often drink monster rehab at school, and since they aren’t carbonated I often chug them. Monster rehab, though delicious causes me to pee so bad that I cannot even hold it for one period. So as I walk into the bathroom I brace myself to see horrors that could scar anyone for life. One time when I carefully inched into the bathroom I gazed in horror. Someone pooped on the floor.

Why anyone would do that boggles me. Why would any average human being have this thought process: “Oh hey, I have to poop, I guess I should go to the bathroom.” Then he would proceed to get a pass, and shit on the floor.

Imagine if someone walked in on this kid shitting in the fucking floor, how would one react? Honestly I would probably just cry and walk out and question the intelligence of humanity.

 

is really just me saying 
‘“LIKE MEEEEEE OH SWEET LORD LIKEEE MEEEE, SEE I CAN TELL JOKES….NOW LIKE ME OKAY” 

Processed Corn:
-this is just basically the yellow stuff that makes up the not-powder part of cheetos,
-also many other popular ghetto chips
Sugar
-candy, shit tons of fucking candy
-sugar is essential to every meal at khs
Nacho cheese
-not often consumed do to unavailability, but when available I’m pretty sure it is often drank, not eaten
Hot
-this is THE BIGGEST FOOD GROUP
-It is essential to get your daily amount or your body temp falls below normal and you die

If one eats all of these hey will live a healthy life.